Goa in the year 2025

          The election fever has put Orwellian ideas into my head. What will Goa be like after ten years? My guesswork depends on my imagination. I don’t put my mind in a twist with ‘statistics and other lies’ (some great person has said this before me, hence the quotation marks).

          There will be so much competition amongst taxi-drivers, auto-rickshaw owners and bus-operators that some teenagers will be forced to take less popular options like medical, teaching and engineering courses. Neighbours will look at their parents sympathetically. Musicians and artistes will be frustrated with the lack of opportunity; politicians, too, what with the common man clamouring for his/her portion of power. Since most Freedom Fighters by then would be dead, their freebies might get transferred to the above jobless persons.

Since by then birth and family name, caste and ‘native-place’ won’t be of consequence, many children might be conveniently numbered rather than named, so that the same number could be merged with the Aadhar card/ cell-phone connection. Hindus might start naming their children Sid (short for Siddhanand) and Mac (Makarand) and Christians may share the copyright with Sikhs for names like Dimple, Dolly, Honey. The trends/ fashions regarding nomenclature of human off-spring will depend on the television serials of the time. Not jesting: three generations in India didn’t use the name ‘Pran’ because of a screen-villain.  

          Since Goa would have consistently opposed every option to broaden or modify existing roads or build new ones, Maharashtra and Karnataka might consider building a sky-highway by-passing Goa entirely. That way none of our trees will be cut/transplanted, nor any of our heritage structures or private homes be damaged. Was any such thing considered when we had objected to the building of the Konkan Railway long years ago?

          More malls will be seen dotting the ‘scape, like the stadia we now have, underused. But the food-courts and the escalator-rides will be the weekend high-points of young parents entertaining their children. The beaches, sand and sun will continue to attract tourists.

          The debate ‘Was Goa Liberated or Invaded by the Indian Armed Forces’ might continue, dentures-punctuated as a majority of the passionate participants would have crossed a certain age by then.

          If our fatal road accident rate doesn’t wane, we can expect the cadaver-transplant program of medical tourism to flourish. And our young-to-old ratio to get skewed.         

          Those involved in the Marathi-English-Konkanni disputes over script and official labelling will not notice that, whilst they were squabbling and opinionating, a west-coast version of a Konkanni-Hindi mix would have firmly rooted itself in the state.  Would we call it Konk-indi?

          Scientists and researchers from across the globe will be attracted by the Goan cows: having consumed and survived on plastic bags for five generations, this breed would have started producing latex like milk which one can stretch and chew straight from the udder. No refrigeration required, nor packing and transporting. Marvellous. The excess garbage we chuck all over our neighbourhoods will have its uses after all. 

Goan women won’t be wearing saris. For occasions, if you can’t follow the youtube-for-dummies’ instructions, there will be ‘experts’ from my generation (yeah, my friends and I don’t plan to quit the planet in a decade) to drape them for a price. Else, the celebration would have to make do with a stitch-on/ slip-on ‘traditional’ look. Our (today’s) South-West Asian ‘uniform’, the salwar-kameez might be out-dated, too (Wendell, do you agree?).  Since for long women have been wearing pants, men might sport a unisex look in bright kaaftaans with long slits at the sides: airy and easy to climb onto bikes. Bikes = traffic. Going by the narrowness of our roads and the number of vehicles on them, if I think of a traffic jam in 2025, my brain will suffer with the effort.  We may have vendors hawking wares atop vehicles as the space in between them might be difficult to manoeuvre through. Lack of space is never a problem for entrepreneurs with imagination. Conversely, this clogging of roads might mean reduced speeds and fewer deaths. Opportunity lost regarding medical-tourism, ref cadaver transplants above.

Each road, every turning will have either a chapel devoted to an obscure saint or a temple raised in the ‘honour’ of one of our very many gods/ swamis. Or a statue in the memory of a dead local ‘leader’. Made of bathroom tiles and festooned with plastic ornaments, these ‘places of worship’ would be considered part of Nouveau Goan Culture. Xit-kodi would have bowed out what with scarce fish and imported coconuts priced out of reach. Bhakri, that lowly roti patted out of rice or nachni flour will be unknown. It’ll be replaced by machine-made sliced bread. Isabgol sales will reach an all time high.

Computerised governance would have taken its toll on corruption as we know it. Of course, fertile criminal minds will come up with new versions of old tricks. The war of black versus white, good versus bad, will continue. But now that we’re at the nadir of many things, I see an upward trend in people’s aspirations and demands. One example: those who were promoted till class eight without quality, testing or deserving to, will know that mere promotions and certificates aren’t of any value. Parents will want teachers who know their subjects and how to transfer that knowledge to their students. We may have to import (wo)man power to benefit our institutions. Students themselves may want tougher exams, stricter merit-based selections and quality of skill and talent will be respected. The young are often wiser than we give them credit for.

Goa will get the award for the maximum number of on-line groups: www.ukgoans.com; www.usagoans.com; www.polishgoans.com; www.belgaum.goans.com; etc. from Ratnagiri to Russia, Goans will connect with other Goans, niz or not, just to know what’s happening in the land of their ancestors. Special apps will be invented so neighbours can quarrel in cyberspace, instantly and across time zones, over bordering walls and branches that stray across them. And keep track of which sibling/ cousin is selling his/her share of property (wonderful word, bonds families together … or pulls them asunder, and makes lawyers rich).

Today, my mother and her ilk moan at the loss of Goempunn. I’ve heard people similarly grieve over Kashmiriyat. Every state, every ilaakaa, every generation believes that the good is lost and is replaced by the bad. I’m optimistic that, in a decade from now, irrespective of pessimists predict, Goa will be a better place to live in: with pluralistic, tolerant views, afforested erstwhile quarries, harvested rainwater, public transport to die for, caring ministers and efficient officials at the helm, ... and possibly unclogged gutters.