Calling Names

(28 Jan ’07)

            Traditionally, elders, strangers, acquaintances were called Mr. or Mrs. or Miss or Aunty, Uncle or with some other form of respect like Sir or Madam. In our local tongues and at home we always used the suffixes Tai, Dada, Bhau, whatever. Even the lowliest of servants had to be treated with respect.

Over the last couple of years, we in urban and semi-urban English-speaking pockets have begun calling everyone as casually and informally as we can. Age and respect doesn’t or isn’t supposed to matter. But, in reality, it does make a difference. For example, one might call even one’s immediate boss by the first name and greet him or her with a ‘hi’. But, say in Goa, would one do the same, if one were an employee, to a Salgaonkar or a Timblo or a Dempo? Not unless you’ve spent your childhood days with them in school. On the contrary, when faced with the real bosses, forget the first names, there is little confidence and plenty of meekness even in body language.

            It amuses me that those who dispense with the formalities in the name of modern times, meekly submit to sycophancy when facing the ‘higher authorities’.

            What happens when the reverse is exercised? I insisted when I joined my current job, that all customers, even toddlers, were to be called Sir or Madam, as Mr or Ms, and treated as if they were ‘Big Somebodies’. Now it’s become part of the ethos. Even helpless, sick babies who come here are treated like our salaries depend on them (which is the truth). The result? Word has got around that people in this place really care. HOW  we talk to a customer matters a lot.

            The same is true when we address colleagues. When I took this job, I carried with me habits of the place I worked in Goa. Everyone at Cidade in those days were addressed formally, irrespective of rank. It worked wonders. Imperceptibly, there was sense of professionalism in all we did. Whether they still carry on that tradition or not, I don’t know, but I exported it when I moved. All my colleagues, irrespective of seniority, were addressed with care. In a heavily stressful environment, it has worked wonders. People heard me out on the phone, snappy types were careful with their tones, I found it easier to get work done from ‘difficult’ juniors.

            Even when I refer to my dearest childhood friends in unknown company, I prefer to call them by their titles.

            In the Military, all cadets are considered to be future generals/air marshals/admirals. I carried that philosophy forth to the hospital where I presently work. I treated (still treat) every junior medical staff as a future consultant/super-specialist, every nurse/technician/therapist as a knowledgeable professional. Recently, I read an article on management and was not surprised to know that in many of the good private schools in the US, the trend is that all children are taught as we were in our childhoods: neighbours, friends’ parents, all elders and strangers are to be addressed with some title. Apparently, they have found that this habit leads to personal discipline and better work culture in future.

            With formality comes restraint, a must if one has to overcome frivolousness at work. Play is good, provided it follows hard work. Many companies and departments are so busy planning play that work is considered a by the way thing. In the long run, the attitude damages the company, and the bottom-line is that it translates into less money, more grievances, more envy of others, cribs, you get the idea. Just as rigid formality is a nuisance and achieves nothing, so also, too much of casualness translates into chaos. There has to be a balance.

            Any views on this anyone??

@@@@@