Speed Speech and Healthy Hosts.

(29 Jan ’12)

            One of the things that I notice about Mumbaikars is the speed at which they talk. There’s so much energy in their words, their choice of words, in their gestures and the directness with which they talk. That robustness and tempo is best experienced in their local trains, especially at rush hour. Nothing in Goa, indeed in most places in the world except perhaps for a handful of metros, comes anywhere near it. Think of a day that begins well before dawn. By seven in the morning, the water is filled, tiffins made and packed, the entire family has bathed and readied itself for work (or school or college as the case may be). The trains are full by eight. When I say full I mean something like the private buses that pick up the passengers at Panaji jetty and head for Taleigaon.

Working Goans are as rushed, quite often more stressed because of the lack of good public transport. From home to closest bus stop is a walk. Time taken from closest bus stop to town bus-stand varies with the number of people wanting to take the bus on that particular morning. At the bus-stand, there’s always a problem getting into a bus. In Mumbai, the Railways have considered space for feet and heads, the private bus-operators in Goa sincerely believe we stand on one foot each and are shoulderless, bumless wonders, to be stacked skin to skin. If one can afford him (how come there aren’t any female ‘pilots’ in Goa?), a ‘pilot’ is a Goan’s best friend.

            Back to the speech. by the time my Goan maid Shashi finishes saying: “Bai, haon tuka sangtaa..” a Mumbai woman would have recited one adhyaay of the Ramayan. For those who take pride in susegaad, I have nothing to say. Except that it’s time we stopped taking pride in laziness and wasting minutes/hours/ days in doing something that can be done pronto. The faster the thought, the speedier the tongue, the quicker the action… and the more prosperous the person. I believe that a well-co-ordinated tongue does indicate a certain sharpness of brain. It’s a theory I harbour. Not proven. Which means that an average Mumbaikar is smarter than an average Goan. Again, a theory, not proven.

            The other thing a working Goan doesn’t have: easily accessible, inexpensive but good office food.

            Talking of healthy food. A Mumbai relative invites me for breakfast. Makes an omelette. On a non-stick pan with a drop of oil. A second drop might clog my arteries and make me drop dead, she assumes, thoughtfully sprinkling a couple of grains of salt in the egg-white. See, she says in glee, carefully chucking away the yolk, there goes the cholesterol. Less sugar in the fat-free milk, sans anything brown: no tea, coffee, cocoa or any other additive. Would I like some oats, though, she asks. I shake my head sadly, refusing everything. I can’t taste anything. The whitish fat-free liquid, ‘soya milk’ tastes like dishwater, the omelette like nothingonearth. Post breakfast, any medical blood test that I get done is bound to be ‘normal’. Should there be any test for satisfaction levels, it would be abysmally low. On that count, I must add, Goa’s the place for food-satisfaction. Whether one goes to someone’s house, or decides to eat out the food’s great here. (Whilst many places have inflated prices, there are still some, like Dropadi in Palolem and Nawabi Tunday at Porvorim which allow those with meager incomes like mine to occasionally indulge. Goa certainly has better ambience and choice of international fare than Mumbai. The goras who came to stay have taught locals valuable lessons is cooking. Thank you, paklos.) Humble Goan homes will go to great lengths to give guests the best available, be it fish or fruit. Vegetarian Hindus will make extra dishes so that the shivraak menu is compensated for. My ancestors ate food happily smothered with coconut oil. They lived long and healthy. They didn’t know how bad coconut oil was supposed to be. Their catholic neighbours loved their pork and beef and lived as long and as healthily. They hadn’t heard that red meat would kill them early. They exercised you say? Nope. Servants did that. (Cardiologists are not going to like this paragraph, what with heart attacks on the rise in the state.)

Whatever, there’s no doubt that when it comes to hospitality, Goans have it. Specially when it comes to food. Again, this is my theory and belief; but this one’s been proven many times over.

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