Wednesday, 2 October 2013

If the Big Bad Flood Had Happened in Goa



            We’ve never been as unlucky as Orissa or Uttaranchal with cyclones and floods, to some extent because the west coast (exception: Gujarat) has never borne the brunt of Nature’s fury as much as the east. Another reason is that the Brits in Mumbai and the Portuguese in Goa did something called ‘planning’ for towns and villages, a concept our ancestors kind of understood, now alien to us. In spite of having ‘decent’ rains year after year, Goan housing colonies and hotels still buy tankers of water. But we’re not talking about our fiscal stupidity here.
            Suppose, just suppose, a calamity of Uttaranchal’s proportion happened here. Since we’re fighting for special status, first we’ll cry ourselves hoarse for the centre to help us. When the water has risen above our ankles, the auto-rick guys would charge Rs 500 from St Inez to Caculo Mall. Taxis and pilots would accordingly hike their fees. You can calculate the cost for other distances.
Milk, sugar, bread and fuel would suddenly go ‘black’. Fish wouldn’t be a problem. We eat anything that swims. In a flood, should the larvae of amphibian and insects grow beyond three inches, we’d be happy to catch, fry or chuck them into gravies.
            Gravies remind me of coconuts and the trees they grow on. If the water goes above a couple of metres high and thanks to the plastic clogged naalaas doesn’t flow into the sea, (that would happen soon enough), we’d have to get onto slimy, slippery, unsafe rooftops or up the safe and sturdy emblem of Goa, the coconut palm. Problem here: it’ll be too late to take tree-climbing lessons and it’s unlikely that the bhailley who we hire to do the job (“oh-so-sloppily” we complain) will agree to take us piggy-back for money or love or threat. Forget climbing the roofs and palms, so used to wheels are we that without our bikes, scooters and cars, we’ll have to depend on our limbs: that’s a disaster in itself. Except for trained sportspersons and the getting-extinct hands-on Goan farmer… only doctors know whether and where our thigh and calf muscles exist. We make up with the strength of our jaws, but in or under water, of what use with that be to us?
            Once the number of dead and affected rises beyond the combined fingers of the Legislative Assembly Members, the Government will call in the Defence Forces. It would be a shame to call in the very Navy that we didn’t want in our state. The uniformed guys won’t say “we’ll save only Karwar or Sindhudurg”, will they? They’re not like us, they do their jobs and they do them well. They’ve proved this time and again, whether they’re dealing with enemies, or children who’ve fallen into wells, earthquakes, naphtha leaks or floods. In fact, we’ll be dependent on the people we’ve always cribbed about: the cops, the fire-brigade, the municipality workers, the labourers from the NE, Bihar, UP, Andhra, Kerala, etc.
            Our village brethren will no doubt bury all hatchets and help save each others’ dukors and mhashee. After the floods recede, we will ask for our pound of flesh for sure. Our television media will hyperventilate about how we didn’t have enough ghee to cremate the Hindu dead (do the dead have a religion?) nor any blessed land to bury the Muslims/Christians/Jews. NRIs will weep over heritage lost. Only a few will start: 1. Taking classes for children so they don’t lose out on their learning years, 2. Prepare for prevention of epidemics by disposing of decaying corpses, 3. Building shelters of all kinds, 4. Collecting and distributing food, water, clothing. In spite of what the tv channels say and we moan about, it’s the government machinery alone that does most for rehabilitation. The others do fringe work. Some even believe that techniques of meditation and prayer-chants are more important than availability of drinking water, medical aid and dealing with sewage.
            I read on the Net someone’s comment. Not verbatim: “… a shrine was ‘disturbed’, hence this calamity happened.” When will we learn that our heritage lies in our thoughts and behaviour? Principles and skills must and do outlast buildings and statues. If we face a calamity of this proportion in Goa, what will we mourn most? Destruction of our temples/churches? Our value system? Language? What?
            Lots will happen after the floods. NGOs will spring up to take care of the welfare of mosses, rodents, oldies, babies, and now that our Freedom Fighters are on their way off the planet, will demand free railway passes and pensions for their ‘causes’.
            Dear fellow Goemkars, we have to learn from Uttranchal’s tragedy. Now.

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