I Sold My Soul to a Corporate Goal.

HR put up this notice:

The following will go for a training session, department-wise, to the Nilgiris.

A break from tension, stressful work, a time to bond, said they.

Make use of this opportunity, an all-fees-paid holiday.

We bought ourselves sweaters, walking shoes: things no townie owns.

We spend our money on eating out, trips to Dubai and mobile phones.

We were the smart guys who’d sold our Souls

To competitive, challenging Corporate Goals.         

We went by train.

Swaying bus, over winding roads, nausea driving us insane.

The HR guy lied; nothing nice about living in a tent. Tell me,

What’s fun about feeling through packed haversacks for things you can’t find, can’t see?

About not being able to scratch where it itches, zipped in a sleeping bag?

Aching knees, smelly socks, blisters, annoying mates, sweaters that sag?

We were no longer the toughies who’d sold their Souls

To what seemed from here comfy Company Goals.

The sky was the colour of my computer screen when I switched Windows on.

My skin got wrinkled, hair entangled; in muscles and joints new aches were born.

The air smelt like Lonavala on a weekend morning many years back.

Reminded me of ferns, birds, and glow-worms on my haversack.

We upped at dawn, porters made chai, rotis were baked on a kerosene flame.

The loo was at the edge of a ridge, atop a hill without a name.

So far away were we, our Souls,

Detached from those clawing Corporate Goals.

The misty, moisty mornings, frozen dew, fogs that veiled.

Chorus of insects, silent clouds of butterflies that beside us sailed.

 Distant horizon, stretched the sky; no watch on wrist, stood still the time

Colleagues huffed, held hands to help, mem’ries sublime.

 We were hungry, thirsty, we sweated, moaned, and deeply slept.

We trod and stomped, consistent steps, at pushing ourselves we got adept.

 Was this the way to teach our Souls

To reach those distant Corporate Goals?

 We were no longer driven by reports, data, graphs.

The members of each tent, each team were bound by toil, by laughs.

Those smart/pushy in office, weren’t here quite so bright.

Reading maps, rappelling down rocks, battling fears of height.

 That breeze, on air-conditioned, sun-deprived skins,

Blew away fears of deadlines, targets, and documentations.

 Slowly but surely, our office-bred souls

Were yawning, awakening, to non-corporate goals.

Bruises and scratches were evidence of life beyond my virtual world.

Yet I clutched my return ticket when in my sleeping-bag I curled.

 I wore leggings warm, crampons sharp, then to swanky shoes, striped ties returned.

My journey I saved on floppies, blogs; (now on CDs and pen-drives burnt).

 Some joined me out of curiosity, to see what drew me so.

They saw for themselves, my passion, my ‘reality show’.

 Just one exposure and their souls

Discovered life beyond Corporate Goals.  

 I watched a mini-dragon, a long-tailed creature,

Raise its coloured, scaly crown; its most distinctive feature.

 Made friends with a goat, who licked from my sweat the salt.

I discovered he’d been cooked for dinner; I was shocked.

 Beyond the hillocks, below our tents, meandered on the curvy roads,

Trucks. Gliding, navigating, grinding, ferrying incredible loads.

 Something stirred within our Souls,

Edging out wretched Corporate Goals.

Hikes take o’er every weekend, am hooked by the outdoor green.

I dig into savings, visit Garhwal, where I have never been.

 The smell of pine. Giant trees, standing sentinel by the road.

Cameras freezing beckoning peaks, mules carrying edible load.

 Darkness expands, overwhelms, settles, quietly allows

The mountain breeze to whisper: “welcome to my house”.

 A non-quantifiable something touches my Soul.

I am no longer ruled by the Corporate Goal.

Stars within plucking distance, the throbbing river’s flow,

Moon caressing snow-lit peaks, dribbling hamlet lights below.

 Gentle warmth of the morning sun, paths bordered with flowers.

Billowing clouds, sun again, stinging wind, sudden showers.    

 Chill, cold, damp: into the bones it creeps.

This freshness, this freedom, I want it all. For keeps.

 Can’t believe how those Corporate Goals

Had once clutched tightly ourSouls.

On high altitudes, no baths for weeks, ‘cept on the way back, in some icy stream.

On high altitudes, one feels like a king, royal, unreal but not quite a dream.

 Skidding on ice, halting with axes, allowing the lungs to suck in breath.

Depending on ropes and team-mates that hold them, keeping one safe from certain death.

 Leafless gorges, gushing rivers, creeping glaciers, barren terrain,

Rubble, stubble, dicey weather, steep, sheer walls, treacherous moraine.

 Lessons learnt there toughen my Soul

To take on any Corporate Goal. 

When I slip/slide on a rock, my heart with terror fills.

I clutch a tuft, grasp a root, grab a stone. My belay holds me still.

 Trek after trek, I’m hooked. I search for companions to share journeys with.

A desire, a fire, a craving for Nature. Sky above, earth beneath.

 Off to the heights I go, to inhale that clean, green air.

Climb slowly, no hurry, no rush. Quiet everywhere.

 My Soul, far away from the rat race,

Has a different kind of Goal in place.           

 Friends ask, “Why d’ you do this?” I answer, “Just to be.”

“That’s vague,” they say. I can’t explain the reason satisfactorily.

 In camp, I don’t think of office, it creeps into my dreams.

In office my mind roams the hills, I’ve a split persona it seems.

 It’s a need. Like I need to earn, to use my degree

I need to be part of wilderness. I need, as I said, just to be.

 My corporate Soul has two parts distinct.

One follows the Goal, one’s led by instinct.

 Trekking’s a leisure activity, with joys, pleasures, adventures.

But the porters, they here earn their living. Some are ex-soldiers.

 Who’ve lived on cruel, Siachen heights in winters so bitterly cold.

That the breath in their lungs turned to ice particles. Miseries untold.

 Loyal and sturdy, hard-working and cheerful, of our travels they form the backbone.

My kind loves solitude; they don’t want to be alone.

 These are different worlds alright. My soul

They can’t fathom, nor its Corporate Goal.

 On them we depend for our sites, food and rescue.

They are conditioned to do things we cannot do.

 Super climbers most: they cover deadly steep ice-falls.

Off-season some are employed as guards in crowded city malls. 

 We bond out there, each life dependent on the other.

Troubled times bring out the synergy between a man and his leader.

 The outdoor life smoothens the edges of the Soul.

Readies it for the tumble, for that winning Corporate Goal.

Lashing winds, thrashing trees, rolling boulders, violent storms.

Breaking every regulation, every rule, every norm.

 Tumult, mayhem, chaos. Earth gets punished for her sins.

The real sinners sit safely, in office cabins.

 After all that excitement, Project Life anew is signed.

Parasites acquire debris, prove how frail is humankind. . 

 My Soul many lessons learns.

Then to the Corporate world returns.  

 Greedy builders, local leaders, sell land, dynamite employ,

Quarry hillsides, pile on cement, Nature’s balance they destroy.

 Noisy tourists come, plastic footprints leave behind.

Floods, landslides: havoc unsigned.

 Yet, a few kilometres away, untouched live forests old.

A slice of the planet as it was; Heaven’s threshold.

 It’s not the laws of Nature that rule today our Souls.

The roads of Commerce lead to glittering Corporate Goals.

Over years, the mountains’ enigma, I’ve carried within me.

 When stuck in traffic, I think of ‘em, my screen-saver flashes Nandadevi.

 My family understands. At least I can do my thing.

I’d perish if I were kept away from mountaineering.

 Souls like mine, bound nor strapped

Depending on their Goals, adapt.

I

 I’m restless in summer, if I haven’t an outing planned.

I’m not one who craves for the movies, nor five-star meals on sand.

 It takes a couple of days to get the city-speed out of me.

Muscles are taut and my batteries charged, fully.

 I get withdrawal symptoms, it isn’t easy to unwind.

The reverse is also true. I miss here matters of the mind.

 Back home, my energized, raring soul,

Chases a whimpering Corporate Goal.

A different perspective: that vast, wild world. Stamina of body and mind

Are tested. Exploring routes, climbing peaks; finance and systems get left behind.

 Earth’s presentation’s pointed and powerful, the imagination it does defy.

Avalanches and crevasses are buttons that can delete or modify.

 We bash on through sprains, colds, indigestion maybe.

Humble/proud to be part of the Universe that around us we see.

 I return to the monitor and keyboard, tuck my Soul well out of sight.

The Corporate Goal looms before me, I no longer fear its might.

Feedback: sheelajaywant@yahoo.co.in